The Witch and the Jedi
by Kablob
Summary: After leaving the Jedi Order, Ahsoka Tano meets up with an old enemy turned uncertain ally. Together, the two set out to Ilum in order to replace their lost lightsabers. But trips to Ilum are rarely as simple as that... (Concurrent with "Death of a Jedi".)
1. Wayward Apprentices

_Hyperspace_

_19 BBY_

_5 months before Order 66_

Ahsoka Tano had always considered hyperspace to be strangely beautiful. The swirling blue tunnel of light was like something out of a dream. It made her head hurt if she looked at it too long though, so she kept her eyes on the instrument panel in front of her. There was no where else to look in the cramped cockpit of the surplus Y-Wing fighter she piloted. Ahsoka checked the chronometer; they would be coming out of hyperspace soon. She opened the comm to the gunner position behind her.  
"Hey Ventress, we're almost there, wake up." A groan and what sounded like a muffled promise of death was the only response she got. Ahsoka shook her head. If someone had told her four months ago that she'd be flying a ship through Unknown Space with Asajj Ventress of all people, she would have been very skeptical.

But then, if someone had told her Barriss would betray her, the Council would expel and abandon her, and she would leave the Jedi Order on her own she would have laughed in their face. But here she was. Ahsoka had discovered, walking down the Temple steps for the last time, that the hardest thing she had ever done was to not look back. If she had looked back at Anakin she wasn't sure she'd be able to go through with it. She'd wandered around the area outside the Temple for hours, lost in her own thoughts, trying to wrap her head around the enormity of what she'd done. The day before that she had been Padawan Ahsoka Tano, Commander in the Grand Army of the Republic, apprentice of the Chosen One himself. That morning she had been Ahsoka Tano, accused traitor, terrorist, and mass murderer, on trial for her life. And at that moment she had no idea what she was, or even where she was going. Eventually night had fallen, and she had passed out on a public bench. That's where Asajj had found her._"__Pleasant dreams, Jedi?" _she had asked. _"__What's Skywalker's little pet doing sleeping out here? Did those Jedi scum kick you out again?" _

She smiled at the memory. Asajj had been incredulous at the news of what Ahsoka had done, and insisted on getting her a meal to celebrate. Ahsoka had been wary of accepting the offer, but her stomach had overruled her wariness. And she had felt something, a tremor in the Force, that told her Asajj may be trustworthy after all. So they had eaten at Dex's Diner, and learned a lot about each other. Ahsoka told her the whole story of why she had left the Order, and used that (and, admittedly, some alcohol) to pry the life story out of the ex-Sith turned bounty hunter. Hearing how much pain and betrayal the Dathomirian had gone through had put her own issues in perspective. Ahsoka had realized that deep down, Asajj wasn't the uncaring, murderous Sith she had always acted like. She had the potential to be so much more, and Ahsoka was surprised to find she wanted to help her former enemy.

But she knew Asajj wouldn't just let some ex-Padawan hang around for no reason, so she proposed this expedition to her, knowing it would intrigue Asajj too much to turn down. It had taken them five months to get enough credits together to buy this salvaged Y-Wing, mostly by hunting various petty criminals with bounties on their heads in the depths of Coruscant. It wouldn't have taken so long if it wasn't for Ahsoka's stubborn refusal to take the shadier bounties. Asajj's resistance to that had been less than Ahsoka expected, and she felt like Ventress was starting to warm up to her. At the very least she probably wasn't going to kill her in her sleep now.

An alarm went off in the cockpit, signaling they were about to hit a gravity well.  
"Alright Ventress, get ready to stretch your legs." Ahsoka hit the decelerator, and the swirling vortex outside resolved into star-lines that quickly reverted into realspace. The blue-white orb of a frozen planet was in front of them, orbiting a distant star.

"So this is the famous Ilum?" Ventress looked out the dome of her turret. "Doesn't look like much."

Ahsoka worked at the controls. "What did you expect? A big ball of light floating in space? I hope you don't mind the cold."  
"It's already freezing in here!" Asajj complained.

"Well maybe you would rather we got changed in the ship?" Ahsoka shot back. "It's a bit cramped, if you haven't noticed." Both of them were wearing cold-weather gear.

"Whatever. I still don't see why I couldn't find this place myself." Asajj cracked the kinks out of her neck audibly.

"Hey, you want to wander around in hyperspace for weeks, be my guest." Ahsoka brushed frost off of one of the readouts while she guided the craft down through the atmosphere. The cheap astromech that came with the ship was blathering on about the temperature. Ahsoka ignored the droid. It was no Artoo, that was for sure. Already the stars were growing faint as they descended. _Hopefully this will be less eventful than the last time I was here..._

* * *

The Y-Wing touched down with a metallic groan, seeming grateful for the rest. The ship had been salvaged by a junk dealer, and Ahsoka suspected that it had gone through more damage than the dealer let on. She popped the cockpit, and immediately received a blast of snow in the face. _As hospitable as ever_. She pulled the hood over her montrals and climbed out, her legs protesting the sudden movement after hours crammed into the confined space.  
"R3, stay with the ship." The droid beeped in relief. Ahsoka ducked under the fuselage, the landing gear was already being obscured by snow. Ventress jumped down while Ahsoka opened the cargo bay.

"Tell me it's not far." Ventress' voice was muffled by the snow.

"It's just behind that cliff over there." Ahsoka pulled out the backpack filled with their parts, then the two started the trek across the frozen plain. The parts needed to build a lightsaber were surprisingly common, with the exception of one. They had been able to get the focusing lenses, emitter matrices, power cells, and all the various bits of metal from junk dealers around Coruscant. All but the most important part.

After trudging through the snow for another hundred meters or so Ahsoka could see a circular platform ahead. As she got closer she could make out a frost-encrusted symbol of the Force emblazoned on it.

"This is it! The entrance is frozen over, we're going to have to break it to get in!" She had to yell to be heard over the wind.

"Would it kill the Jedi to put up a simple door?!" Ventress shouted back.

The pair reached out their hands and concentrated on the ice. After a moment there was a loud _crack_, quickly followed by another. The ice shattered, falling down in a cascade that billowed up in a cloud at the bottom. When it dispersed, the entrance of the Jedi Temple on Ilum was revealed.

"It probably would," Ahsoka muttered to herself.

It wasn't any warmer inside the Temple than outside, but at least it sheltered them from the snow. The huge circular chamber looked the same as it had when Ahsoka brought the younglings on their gathering, dominated by crystalline pillars and four giant statues of Jedi Masters, the walls and floor covered in strange engravings.

Ventress took the sight in. "Not bad for the Jedi."

Ahsoka rolled her eyes. She had gotten used to Asajj's casual hatred of the Jedi. "You might be the first non-Jedi to come here in peace in thousands of years, Ventress. You should be honored," she teased.

"You aren't a Jedi either, you know. You can pull the stick out." Asajj stopped in the center of the chamber, where Master Yoda had been sitting just a few months earlier. "So where do we go from here?"

Ahsoka propped her backpack against one of the statues and gestured at the frozen wall of the back of the room. "Through there."

Asajj shook her head, "The same test twice? Not very imaginative." Ahsoka looked up towards the ceiling.

"Oh no, you'll like this next part, trust me." She used the Force to open the window at the top of the chamber. The sunlight poured through into the elaborate network of crystals above, focused into a beam that was directed into the frame around the ice door. The sheet of ice melted, flowing down into drainage ducts in the floor. The entrance to the crystal caves beckoned. And for the third time in her life it took Ahsoka's breath away.

Ventress didn't show it, but Ahsoka could tell even she was impressed. "Fancy, if a bit impractical."

Ahsoka shook her head. "You're impossible." They entered into the dimly lit corridor beyond.  
"I'm surprised you've never been here before, Ventress," Ahsoka commented. "I remember that the Seps tried to blow this place up back near the beginning of the war."

Asajj raised her hands defensively. "Hey, I wasn't part of that!" It was true though, the temple would have been destroyed by Chameleon droids if it wasn't for the two Jedi who happened to be inside. Ahsoka stopped her thought there. _That_ was the last thing she wanted to think about.

She changed the subject. "We'll have to hurry, the door will refreeze soon, and we'll be trapped for the better part of a month."  
Ventress gave her a confused look. "Couldn't we just smash it like we did the first door?"

"Yeah, they just tell the younglings that so they'll work together." Ahsoka laughed to herself. "So congratulations, you're officially smarter than a youngling." They came to the crossroads, several doorways leading off in different directions.

"I thought this place was supposed to be full of crystals. You better not be lying, Tano." Asajj glared at her.

Ahsoka suppressed a smile. "You should know by now that it's never that easy. Only the crystal meant for you will be visible. Just open your mind and let the Force guide you." She had never realized how much fun it was being the vague mentor.

Asajj groaned impatiently. "Fine, I'll do it the _Jedi_ way." She always managed to say _Jedi_ like it was some horrible curse.

"Meet you back at the entrance." Ahsoka turned away and closed her eyes, clearing her mind. She listened to the sound of Ventress' footsteps until they slowly faded away, leaving nothing but a comforting silence. Then the former Jedi opened her eyes and picked a doorway, setting off into the cave beyond.


	2. Visions

**Thanks for the feedback! And no, this is not a shipping fic. It goes along with my other fic, _Death of a Jedi_.**

* * *

Ahsoka followed the twists and turns of the tunnel, wondering how long it would take this time. Back during her group's Gathering she had been the second to find her crystal. She remembered how annoyed she'd been to come in second. _I was such an obnoxious little idiot_, Ahsoka thought. _Maybe I still am_. She came to a widening in the tunnel that was almost circular. Out of the corner of her eye Ahsoka noticed a dark shape in an alcove of the wall. As she went over to take a closer look it became clear it wasn't just another rock formation. It was a large pile of orange scrap metal, rusting in places. Ahsoka realized it was one of the chameleon droids from the Separatist attack, the cleanup crew must have missed this one. It had been cut nearly in half by a lightsaber blade. Ahsoka ran her hand along the melted circuitry.  
_It's a good thing Luminara and Barriss were here_, an unbidden thought arose in her mind. Ahsoka cried out in frustration, kicking the long dead droid.

"Do I have any memories that are safe?! Is everything going to hurt me now?!" The cave echoed with the sound of her voice.  
"They only hurt if you let them," a voice said from behind her. Ahsoka spun around to see a familiar figure standing at the other side of the cave.  
"It would be you, wouldn't it?" Ahsoka scowled. "There's any number of people in my head the Force could've thrown at me, and it just had to pick you."  
"You wouldn't see me if you didn't think about me so much." Barriss Offee looked exactly the same as she had in the trial room, down to the hands bound behind her back.  
Ahsoka walked over to the apparition, struggling to control her anger. "Don't lecture me, Barriss! You have no right!"  
"You left because you saw the same truth I did, Ahsoka." The vision didn't react to Ahsoka's accusation. "The Jedi have fallen already."  
This time Ahsoka was too angry to contain it. "Don't you _dare_ compare me to you! You killed dozens of people, and you betrayed me!"  
Again, Barriss didn't seem to hear her. "Strange that someone who doesn't want to be a Jedi would come looking for a lightsaber crystal."  
"I'd still have my first lightsaber if it wasn't for you! I'd still be a Jedi if it wasn't for you!" And then came the thought that Ahsoka had been trying not to think for months. "I should have killed you on that transport when you asked me to!" She was shaking, and not from the cold.

This time Barriss seemed to hear her, shrinking back from her words. Ice crystals formed on her skin that had suddenly gone pale, just like she had appeared on the transport from Geonosis. Before she could respond another voice echoed from behind Ahsoka.

"You're right, Snips."

Ahsoka looked over her shoulder to see Anakin Skywalker leaning against the cave wall. "I was wrong," he said. "You should have killed her." As Anakin began walking towards them Barriss' eyes went wide with fear.

"Don't trust him Ahsoka," she pleaded. "Whatever you do, please don't trust him!" Ahsoka looked at her incredulously.

"Then who should I trust? _You?_" She turned her back on her, she couldn't bear to look at Barriss another second. Anakin smiled and held out his hand.

"Ahsoka, you need to come with me. I know the way to your crystal."

"Don't listen to him Ahsoka! You have no idea what he's capable of, what he can do. It's already too late to stop it, please don't let yourself fall too!" Barriss' voice was full of terror.

She shook her head in disgust. "Whatever trick of the Dark Side you are, you should know that Barriss is the worst form you could have chosen."

The apparition looked down in defeat. "Don't say you weren't warned."

Ahsoka took Anakin's hand and he led her farther along the tunnel._ I don't care what you say, Barriss. I trust him with my life. _Soon he began moving faster than she could keep up, and her hand slipped out of his as he disappeared around a corner.  
"Master! Wait up," she said, she rounding the same corner.

_What the-_

Ahsoka skidded to a stop. Ahead of her was a corridor of the Jedi Temple on Coruscant, just as covered in ice and snow as the tunnel behind her. It was in ruins, shattered columns and pieces of the roof strewn about. Snow fell down slowly through the gaps in the roof. Ahsoka's eyes stopped on a particular piece of rubble. She slowly approached it and realized it was a body lying on it's stomach. Carefully she rolled it over and stared into Plo Koon's face. Ahsoka recoiled back in shock and slipped, landing hard on the ground. As she got to her feet she saw there were other bodies. Mace Windu, Kit Fisto, Saesee Tiin, and Agen Kolar lay around her, steam rising from what had to be lightsaber wounds.

"Ahsoka," Anakin's voice startled her, there was a hardness to it that she had never heard before.. She turned around to see him standing in a doorway, his deactivated lightsaber in his hand, a hood pulled up over his head. _This isn't right. This isn't Anakin_, Ahsoka thought, her heart racing.

"You have to join me, or this will be your fate too." He began walking towards her, and a blast of wind blew his hood back. His eyes were bloodshot and yellow, burning with the power of the Dark Side. _This is wrong, I was wrong._ She turned to flee, only to run into someone else, who knocked her down and fell on top of her.  
"He's right, you know. Only by embracing me can you hope to survive." Ahsoka was hearing her own voice, looking into her own face, but it wasn't right. The other Ahsoka's eyes were yellow and bloodshot like Anakin's, and the veins on her face stood out like a dark web. Her mouth was contorted in an insane grin. "If I don't join him, he will kill me!" A flash of suppressed memory flew up into her mind's eye, another fallen Ahsoka crossing lightsabers with Anakin on what had to be Mortis. Just as quickly as it appeared the memory was gone.

The other Ahsoka seemed amused at the prospect of her death. Ahsoka pushed off the twisted version of herself as it began laughing hysterically and stood up. Anakin was right in front of her now, and he held out his lightsaber to her.

"Now do what you should have done years ago, and you will gain everything you seek." His usual sarcastic smile stood out in stark contrast to the hatred in his eyes. Numbly, she took it. Anakin moved beside her to reveal Barriss chained to the ruined wall, looking half-dead.  
"Ahsoka, I'm so sorry. I never wanted to hurt you, everything moved so fast and got out of control." Tears were freezing on Barriss' face as she spoke, her voice a dry whisper. "Please don't make my mistake. I thought I was strong enough to control it, that my own fall was the only way to rescue the Order itself from falling. But I was wrong," Barriss stopped, overcome by a tortured coughing fit. "There's no controlling it," she continued. "Everything I did dragged us further into darkness. Once it gets a hold of you you'll destroy everything you loved, like I did. Please-"

Her voice cut off as the fallen Ahsoka closed her windpipe with the Force. "Do it," Anakin snarled at Ahsoka. "Kill her!"

Her montrals rang with the sound of her own twisted laughter. She could feel her dark counterpart's breath on her neck, her hand gently running down one of Ahsoka's lekku.

"Come on Ahsoka," she whispered. "It'll be easy. She deserves it, she almost got you killed!"

_I can__'__t,_ Ahsoka realized. _Not then, not now_. Barriss may have betrayed her and the Jedi, she decided. But she wasn't lost, not yet.

She still had a chance.

"Do it now!"

_No.  
_  
Ahsoka ignited the blue lightsaber.

"Please, Ahsoka," said Barriss. "Don't lose yourself like I did."

"Kill her!" Anakin grabbed her by the arm.

Ahsoka drove the blade through Anakin's chest.

"I don't know what you are or what any of this means, but you are not Anakin and Barriss does not deserve to die! She deserves another chance!"  
Anakin's body disappeared into thin air, his empty robes falling to the floor in a pile. Not-Ahsoka's laughter stopped, and she disappeared too. Barriss smiled weakly.  
"You are stronger than I was. The Force will be with you, Ahsoka. Always."

Ahsoka opened her mouth to respond, but the entire scene faded out into a bright light.

Ahsoka opened her eyes to find she had passed out on the ground of the cave with the droid. Slowly, she got to her feet, unsure if everything around her was real. After she had reassured herself the disturbing vision was over Ahsoka went to leave. But something stopped her, a strange, high-pitched whistling she had heard only one other time in her life. She looked over the room until she found the source, a faint green light emanating from under the remains of the droid. Ahsoka pushed it out of the way to discover a single green crystal hidden underneath. She picked it up and put it in her utility pouch, then started making her way back to the entrance. _I wonder if Asajj had anything as weird as that happen to her..._


	3. More Visions

Asajj Ventress had visited a lot of strange places. Some were truly hellish. But ever since she had left Rattatak, nowhere had evoked any kind of feeling from her, just by her being here. Ilum was different. Something about this place had her on edge. She wanted to get the crystal and get out of here as fast as possible, but at the rate she was going she'd be here for weeks. The frozen tunnels seemed to go on for miles, and there wasn't a sound in them. None but the sound of her footsteps, her breathing, and her thoughts. Asajj hated being alone with her memories, she wanted to forget them, they had brought her nothing but pain. But there was something here, some ripple in the Force that permeated this frozen wasteland and drew her to them. All the stories of the Jedi's crystal source told of icy tunnels shining with emerald and azure gems, stretching as far as the eye could see. All that she could see were the tunnels. Asajj gave a frustrated yell and punched the cave wall, leaving cracks in the ice. _Damn that horned little brat, why couldn't she have just told me how to get it?_

"Only you can know that, little one," a voice said. Asajj whirled around to a sight that made her stumble back until she felt the ice against her._It can't be._ If Ilum had wanted her to face her past, it couldn't have chosen a better way.  
Asajj was lost for words. "You died," she managed to eventually say. The figure of Ky Narec was standing in front of her, slightly transparent.

"Don't you remember what I taught you all those years ago, little one? There is no death, there is the Force." Her old Master looked at her suspiciously. "You aren't the little one I trained though, not anymore. You've grown in some ways, and shrank back in others. Why did you turn to the Dark Side?"

Asajj turned away, the sight of him was too much for her to deal with. It brought to mind the feeling of his body collapsing in her arms, his strength fleeing him through the last breath that had almost sounded like words in her ears. "I wanted to make them pay for taking you from me, Master. When I was with you I had a purpose, and after you died my only purpose was revenge. And I _had it. _All of those warlord scum are _dead!_" The old fury was rising again, like a white-hot star in her chest.

"And what has that brought you?" Narec had reappeared in front of her, making her look at him.

"You know exactly what it brought me," Asajj yelled at the vision. "You're not my Master! He's dead, you're nothing but this blasted Jedi planet trying to turn me into one of them!" Narec disregarded her accusing finger and smiled at her sadly.

"And who are you, Asajj?"

She didn't have anything to say to that. Her mouth hung open while she tried to find a response. She honestly didn't know, not in the way he seemed to read her mind.

"You aren't the person you've pretended to be all these years. When you were that little girl I knew on Rattatak, you thought you were a Jedi, but that isn't who you are. You're more free than a true Jedi could ever be. Their life was not for you. When I was gone you thought you were a Sith because you had lost yourself in your pain, but that isn't who you are inside. Even though you've ignored it for all those years, you still have a sense of what was right buried down there." His words echoed all around her from the cavern walls, coming at her from every direction.

"Then who the blazes am I?! You seem to know so much about me, so tell me!" Narec stayed calm in stark contrast to her fury.

"You are Asajj Ventress. What that means is something that only you can define. Not me, not Dooku, not Mother Talzin." Narec stepped towards her and put his hands on her shoulders, though she felt nothing at his touch. "You blame yourself for losing me, and for losing the Nightsisters. But all of us died because we made a choice. I chose to train you because I thought you could be someone great. The Nightsisters chose to shelter you because you were one of them and you had no where else to go. They knew what they risked, but they did it anyway. Why do you think they did that?" "Not a clue," she spat. Narec grinned, his eyes twinkling in amusement. "Are you so sure about that? Why did you help Ahsoka then? I know what you tell yourself, but both of us know that it's a lie. You knew even as she said it that there she had no hope of getting you a pardon. But you helped her anyway, why is that?"

"I don't know." The anger had fled from her voice, now she was actually wondering what the answer was herself. Once again the vision had confounded her. She felt her legs give out and let herself slide down the cave wall to the floor. Narec crouched down to her eye level before he continued. "One day you may know why. Events are taking shape now Asajj, and the effect of them will be felt by every being in the Galaxy. In the coming months you will have to make the choice the Nightsisters and I did, and answer the question. Who are you, and what do you want?" The vision began fading out. Desperate, Asajj held on to him.

"Don't leave me alone again," she said. "Please." The word felt odd in her mouth. Her master smiled at her again. "I'll always be with you, little one, and so will everyone else you have lost. All you have to do is remember the time you spent with us, and you'll never be alone."

Asajj let go of him, and the vision faded out into nothingness. After a long while she got to her feet and searched the cavern for a crystal, only to be disappointed again. There was nothing of value in the frozen cave, not now that the vision had ended. Asajj kicked an icy rock in frustration before continuing on through the tunnels. _Damn this planet! _The tunnel began snaking back and forth, the rapid turns adding to her mounting anger. She started running, desperate to end this wild bantha chase, when around a bend she saw something that made her skid to a stop. The vision hadn't ended, and now a new figure stood in front of her, golden eyes penetrating her. Asajj's face twisted in anger this time as she looked into the face of her other master. Dooku looked even older than she remembered, and for some inexplicable reason his hands were missing, the stumps of his arms smoking, cauterized by a lightsaber's passing. He was defenseless! With a cry of rage she reached out with the Force and closed it around his neck. Dooku began making gasping noises as he rose into the air. Finally she would kill the treacherous bastard and have her revenge. _Is that really what you want? _Ky Narec's voice echoed in her head. _Of course it is! Why wouldn't it be?!_ All she had to do now was twist, and Dooku's neck would snap in two. But as she watched him scrambling for breath, the motion just wouldn't come to her. What was she waiting for?! Ky whispered to her again, _Are you sure?_ To her shock, it finally clicked.

It wasn't what she wanted at all. Revenge had never done anything for her, it had left her drifting in an escape pod over a distant planet, it had left her new sisters butchered by blaster and lightsaber. She didn't want revenge from Dooku, she simply didn't care what happened to him anymore. She realeased her grip and Dooku fell to the ground, taking deep, tortured breaths.

She closed her eyes. "Get out of my life."

When she opened them again, she saw that the Dooku vision had listened to her, and in its place stood the smiling visage of Ky Narec. Her master nodded in approval, then he disappeared too. A strange whistling was echoing through the tunnel, and Asajj could see a faint light emanating from the spot Ky had been standing. She bent down over it and dug through the ice and snow until she found a glowing yellow crystal.

Asajj smiled to herself as she pocketed it. _Thank you, Master._ As she began the trek back to the temple she hoped Tano''s experience had been just as maddening.


	4. A New Beginning

After hours of meditation Ilum's gift of a single Force-attuned crystal had been transformed into what it had waited to be since it had formed in the cavern thousands of years ago.

A lightsaber.

It had better balance than her first, Ahsoka decided as she ran through the basic stances of Shii-Cho. It's emerald blade felt quicker, it moved more naturally in her hands. It was more than a weapon, it was just like Anakin had always said.

_This weapon is your life._

Ahsoka hadn't realized until that moment just how incomplete she had felt ever since her first lightsaber disappeared into the depths of Coruscant. Even if she hadn't lost it and her shoto, the Jedi wouldn't have let her keep it when she left the Order. Between Barriss, the Council, and Anakin she'd been too busy sorting out the tangled mess in her mind to really notice it's absence. Now, for the first time in months she was beginning to feel like herself again.

Who cared if she wasn't a Jedi anymore. It's not like there's a law keeping everyone else from owning one of these. She gave it a flourish and sent the deadly, beautiful beam of light back inside the hilt. _Mace Windu, eat your heart out._

She took a good look at the hilt itself for the first time. She hadn't designed it, Jedi never do: the lightsaber design just sort of… emerges as you build it in communion with the Force.

The sound of many pieces of metal clattering to the ground followed by loud, colourful cursing interrupted her inspection._ Or sometimes it doesn't._ She looked up to see Asajj Ventress gathering up her materials from the icy floor, giving her a glare that said: _Say something and I'll rip you in half_. Ahsoka looked away before Ventress noticed the rapidly growing smirk on her face. She'd been surprised to learn that Asajj had never actually built a lightsaber before. Her first had been a spare built by her Master Ky Narec; the pair lost to the Jedi had been a gift from Dooku, built by his old fallen apprentice Komari Vosa. _Figures that even his apprentices would fall,_ Ahsoka thought. Then she remembered that Qui-Gon Jinn had been Dooku's student too, making her his… great-great grand Padawan? Was that even a thing? An inner voice whispered, _it doesn't really matter anymore, does it Ahsoka?_

She ignored it and went back to looking at her new lightsaber. It was similar to her first, but it's beveled emitter shroud slanted to one side, rather closely resembling Anakin's. _I guess I'll always have this to remember you by, right Master?_ She smiled at the thought, but it dimmed slightly when she recalled the disturbing vision of Anakin in the cave.

Best not think about that.

Below the emitter shroud the lightsaber was a straight silver cylinder, marred by a few control knobs and readout lights, along with a series of black stripes at the top and bottom ends. Instead of the studded ball that formed the pommel of her first saber - which Master Kenobi had always said reminded him of the lightsaber he'd carried as a Padawan - her new weapon tapered slightly at the end, reminding her of someone elses lightsaber, but she couldn't place where…

No.

_Kriffing hell, is Barriss going to haunt me for the rest of my life?!_

As if in an answer, Asajj's frustrated scream echoed throughout the temple chamber again as her construction attempt failed once more. This time Ahsoka couldn't help but speak up.

"Having problems, Ventress?"

Her companion shot her a look that could melt cortosis. "What do you think?!"

Ahsoka raised her hands up in defense. "Hey, I can give you some pointers, but if you're going to be like that…" she grinned mischievously.

Asajj did not look amused. "Have you been sneaking off with Skywalker when I haven't been looking? You've got his smug face showing." She laid the parts out in front of her and went to try again.

"You don't use the Force to do it Asajj," said Ahsoka. Ventress looked at her skeptically.

"That's what you did."

Ahsoka shook her head. "No, I let the Force use _me_."

Asajj sighed exasperatedly. "Is there a karking difference?"

She couldn't help but laugh. "All the difference in the galaxy. Clear your mind and let the Force guide your hands, and find what design connects with you. It will just come together on its own." _I hope Huyang doesn't mind me ripping him off,_ she thought.

"You know I might actually prefer you channeling Skywalker to you channeling Kenobi," Asajj grumbled, but to Ahsoka's surprise she actually seemed to follow the advice, closing her pale blue eyes and slowing her breathing before letting the pieces rise into the air and begin to take shape.

A few minutes later, and the pieces snapped together. Asajj opened her eyes to see the lightsaber floating in front of her. Ahsoka had to bite down a laugh, Asajj's wide-eyed stare of wonderment seemed so out-of-place on her face. She didn't want to interrupt the moment.

Asajj took the black-and-silver hilt and ignited it. Ahsoka was shocked at the color, a yellow that shone almost golden.

"I thought Ilum only had blue and green crystals," she thought aloud. _Nothing here ever makes sense._ Asajj didn't seem to notice her, she was too busy running through her own basic stances. It was so strange seeing her with only one lightsaber, a straight one at that. She would have to alter her whole technique.

Asajj didn't seem to mind. She shut off the lightsaber and studied its hilt the way Ahsoka had. It had a pommel slightly wider than the rest of the black-and-silver striped body, that narrowed again to a choke above the control panel before widening into the emitter shroud. It almost looked like…

"It kind of looks like Obi-Wan's," she blurted out.

Asajj snapped her head around to glare daggers at her. "It does not!"

Ahsoka chuckled. Before long she was laughing, and soon after that she had doubled over on the temple floor, sure that her noise was cracking the ice on the other side of Ilum. She laughed so long and so hard that even Ventress had to crack a smile. Ahsoka didn't even know why it was so funny.

She was just glad to find out she still knew how to laugh.

After what felt like an eternity, Ahsoka had calmed down enough to stand back up. "So, you want to test that thing out or what?" She ignited her own lightsaber, dialing the power down to the lowest level.

Asajj responded in kind, raising her blade in a Makashi salute. "Like you even had to ask."

* * *

Climbing back into the Y-Wing fighter - in the turret this time - Ahsoka let out a sharp yelp of pain as one of her fresh bruises bumped against the hard metal fuselage.

"What's the matter, did I hit you too hard?" Asajj mocked her from the cockpit.

"Just wait," Ahsoka began strapping herself in, "one of these days I'll beat you!" Asajj hadn't needed as much adjusting to her new weapon as Ahsoka thought. It had been even worse than her first few sparring sessions with Anakin. She had to smile at the memory of _those _bruises. _Just watch me Skyguy! One of these days I'll beat you into the dirt,_ she remembered a younger, more innocent version of herself saying. _One of these days..._

"Sure," Asajj interrupted her nostalgic reminiscence. "And maybe one day the Jedi Council will realize that they're about as wise as a drunken baby Hutt." Asajj fired the ignition, and the engine responded weakly.

Ahsoka sealed the bubble turret and repressed a shudder. "Ugh, don't talk to me about baby hutts."

A burst of Asajj's laughter blared out of the comm, tinged with static. "Oh I'd almost forgot you had to drag that slug around! Well, if it's any consolation you've definitely improved since then." There was a lurch of acceleration as the craft lifted off. "A bit."

Ahsoka rolled her eyes, then stifled a yawn. As atmosphere around them rapidly turned from white to blue to black, her eyelids started to feel heavier than a Star Destroyer. She leaned her head back against the meager headrest and let them close just as the stars around them transformed into streaks of light.

_I'll just close them for a minute..._

* * *

_ I should have killed you on that transport…_

___Should have killed you…_

_Ahsoka I'm so sorry…_

_It's only a matter of time…_

_Hey, wake up…_

__  
"Hey, wake up. We're about to drop out of hyperspace," Asajj's voice was slightly muffled through the intraship comm. Ahsoka blinked, the disturbing images of her dreams already fading away. She raised her head up from the panel it had rested on, annoyed to notice that one of her lekku had gone numb. The turret of a Y-Wing was not the best place to catch a nap.

"Right," Ahsoka said, not knowing what else to say. Outside the dome splotches of blue and white shot past, echoes of stars and nebula seen through the dimension of hyperspace. Just before Asajj hit the decelerater, Ahsoka felt a subtle tremor, a warning through the Force. It screamed _Danger!_ inside her head. From the way Asajj tensed up, Ahsoka knew she had felt the same. The blue vortex ahead turned into black space and a grey planet.

Along with half of a Separatist cruiser right in front of them.

Asajj swore, yanking back on the stick just in time. Their hull missed the wreck with millimeters to spare. The sight behind it took Ahsoka's breath away, even as her hands automatically activated the turret and began working the controls. The hulks of Republic and Separatist ships alike drifted in space, some beginning to descend through the atmosphere. A haze of smoke covered the sections of the planet where the wrecks had impacted.

Suddenly she was afraid.

_Anakin is in this battle._

She knew it. Even if they were no longer Master and Apprentice, their bond through the Force still existed. Anakin's lived through hundreds of battles, she told herself. This one was no different. But it was. If Coruscant was attacked, then what had happened to the Jedi Temple? _What if everyone's dead? _

_Why do you care,_ that doubting voice whispered. _They weren't so worried about _you_._ She banished the thought back to whatever dark corner of her mind it had emerged from. _That doesn't mean I have to hate them!_

"Did you freeze up on me Tano," Asajj asked. Only then did Ahsoka notice that she'd been trying to talk to her for a while now. She pressed the talk button.

"Sorry, Jedi thing. Is the battle still on?"

Asajj sighed. "No, it looks like we just missed it." She sounded a bit disappointed. "Sounds like our friend the General tried to kidnap Palpatine and those two idiots-" Ahsoka knew exactly who she meant by that- "got him back. So Grievous did what he does best and ran for his-" she stopped suddenly, listening to a new transmission coming in. And then, for no apparent reason, she started laughing. Ahsoka had heard her laugh many times before, but never anything like this. This wasn't the deranged cackle from their duel on the _Tranquility_ or her usual bitter, sarcastic chuckle. She sounded _hysterical._

"Uhh...Ventress?" she said uncertainly. "Are you alright?" The ship jerked to the side, making her instinctively suck her breath in. "Ventress watch where you're going! What in the Force has gotten into you?"

"Am I alright?!" Ventress gasped out, forcing herself to calm down, correcting the battered fighter's course. "Oh yes, I've never been better." 

* * *

**_Coruscant Underworld, The __Midnight Bantha Cantina_**

Asajj Ventress rose a bottle of some dubious green liquid over her head and yelled a phrase into the crowded bar that Ahsoka would have sworn she'd never hear from the one-time Sith in a billion years.

"To Anakin Skywalker!"

The pro-Republic patrons of the bar repeated her in a dozen languages and knocked back their beverages of choice, Ahsoka the loudest of all though she was only drinking a cup of tarine tea. For years now she'd known that one day Count Dooku would meet his fate at the end of Anakin's blade. He was the chosen one, after all; destined to destroy the Sith. Any doubts about that were cleared up on Mortis. _Just about the only thing that was clear on that blasted planet._ Ahsoka swallowed the last of her tea. _If it even was a planet._

And while Asajj claimed to have given up on revenge against her old Sith master months ago, she was sure going to take the opportunity to dance on his grave.  
"What a damn fool," she was saying now, her normally pale cheeks flushed with color from whatever it was she was drinking. "Getting himself killed by Skywalker?! Ha! You know how many times I've lived through fights with him?" She directed the question to no one in particular, most of the other patrons having gone back to their own business.

Ahsoka stifled a grin. "About as many times as he's beaten the stuffing out of you?"

Asajj's customary glare was unaffected by her inebriation. "Funny." She turned back to her bottle that was already half empty. _At this rate I'll have to carry her out of here._

The bar's holo-screens were attuned to some news network, showing the burning wreck that had once been the Separatist flagship while going on about the latest exploits of the _Hero With No Fear_, as the Holo-Net called him. The irony of it wasn't lost on her.

Anakin was afraid of so many things.

"I know he's supposed to be a great pilot," a familiar voice was saying next to her. "But how the heck did General Skywalker manage to land that thing?"

Ahsoka turned to see a clone trooper was sitting on the stool next to her. Something about him struck her as instantly familiar, she felt like she'd met this particular trooper before. "Well, the one thing Anakin is better at than flying is crashing," Ahsoka said, a slight laugh in her voice. _Almost wish I was with him. If only that didn't mean being with everyone else._

The clone looked at her curiously. "How would you know the General then?" There was a flash of recognition on his face. "The voice is familiar..." he started.

Ahsoka finished for him. "The face even more so!" The clone cracked a grin. That joke between clones and Jedi was as old as the war itself, but both sides still got a kick out of it. His eyes flicked down to the lightsaber on her belt.

"Jedi, then? I swear that we've served together before."

"Well, I was," Ahsoka muttered glumly. It seemed to give him the last clue he needed. His face lit up and he smiled even as his cheeks reddened slightly.

"Commander Tano! I'm sorry I didn't recognize you at first, you look... different from the last time we met."

Ahsoka had to repress a cringe at the military title. "Just Ahsoka now. And don't worry about it, I still haven't placed you. I definitely remember you though." The name was just on the tip of her tongue, but embarrassingly she still couldn't recall it.

"CL-9521, Tango Company, 501st Legion. My friends call me Pulsar," he said, knocking back a drink. "Sorry for trying to kill you."

That's where she knew him from! _Geonosis._ Well, the part after Geonosis. "Sorry for almost doing the same."

She'd had nightmares about those blasted worms for weeks.

Pulsar shrugged. "Well you did give me a nasty case of hypothermia. Not complaining."

Ahsoka shivered at the memory."Hey, at least you were wearing armor. I wasn't the warmest dresser back in the day." Something he had said earlier registered in her mind. "Wait, C_L_? You got promoted?"

Pulsar grimaced and took another drink. "Yeah, after Trap was killed."

"Oh." She looked down at the bartop.

_It always comes back to Barriss._

She felt a wave of embarrassment roll off of Pulsar as he realized where he'd sent her thoughts to. "Hey, for what it's worth I never believed what they said about you Commander."

Ahsoka forced herself to smile. "Thanks Pulsar." She couldn't help but wonder if it was the truth, but she didn't detect any hint of falsehood from him. More importantly, she didn't want to know. "I just… keep getting reminded of her lately." Pulsar said something in response, but her mind had already flashed back to the cave on Ilum, Barriss' half frozen body in the ruins of the Jedi Temple…

_Wait, what was that?_ "What'd you just say?" Ahsoka wasn't sure she'd heard him right.

"I said you probably won't anymore. You haven't heard?" He looked surprised.

"Heard what?" She had a bad feeling about this, like the pit of her stomach was sinking to the stained floor beneath her.

"Seps broke into the base that traitor was being held at during the battle and tried to rescue her. The Home Guard didn't let them. Kinda ironic, her execution was scheduled for today anyway."

It took a moment for Ahsoka to process what she was hearing. Barriss was dead. Executed. Killed. _Dead._ She should feel relieved, but for some reason she just wanted to vomit. _Oh, Barriss. Why did you do it?_ She had wanted to visit her in her cell, demand answers. She'd gone over the hypothetical conversation a hundred times in her head. And now it was too late. She'd never get the chance, never see her again, never hear her voice.

"I swear, first Krell, now Offee, who's going to snap next?" He shook his head. "I heard she managed to kill Commander Fox and a dozen clones before she went down, _and _went toe-to-toe with General Unduli. And the bastards still got away with Tambor and Poggle. Still, good to know she won't be destroying anyone else."

Ahsoka hesitated. "I… yes." _Why do I care?_ Pulsar's choice of words had been perfect. Barriss hadn't just killed dozens of people, she'd destroyed them along with her best friend. Completely. Ahsoka was only now putting the shattered pieces of her life back together. _What could have driven her to it?_

_Why didn't she just talk to me?_

Ahsoka pictured the Mirialan extremist being gunned down by a squad of clones. _She didn't deserve that._

But everything she had done said that _yes_, she had deserved it. She'd fallen to the dark side, right?

_Right?!_

So why did Ahsoka feel so sorry for her?

She barely noticed Pulsar saying it was good to run into her and walking away to join a group of his brothers. Asajj had come back, with a new bottle of something equally dubious-looking.

"What are you so torn up about? This is a time for celebrating," she said._ Great, now I've got a drunk ex-Sith assassin to deal with on top of this._

Ahsoka looked up wearily. "Am I really that easy to read?"

"Easy as the label of this bottle," Asajj said, glancing down at it. "Actually, I'm not sure _what_ language this is in..." she muttered. "Is that Iridonian?"

"I just found out that Barriss Offee was killed," Ahsoka said, ignoring her. Saying it out loud felt strange.

Asajj looked up, surprised. "What, that _schutta_ that stole my lightsabers?" Ahsoka figured Asajj would respond as such. _If I told her how I feel about it she'd think I was insane. I guess that's a good sign?_ Asajj continued. "Like I said, time for celebrating. Here, try this." She poured some of the liquid in Ahsoka's empty cup.

Ahsoka was glad for the distraction, but she still looked at it suspiciously. "This is… it's green."

"Oh come on, you've been away from the Jedi scum for months now. You've got to take that stick out of your rear some time," Asajj laughed. _Well, she's already drank a whole bottle of this stuff and she's still standing, it can't be too strong._

Oh, screw it. She downed the glass and immediately spat it out on the floor. It tasted like starship fuel and burned in her throat like the lava flows of Mustafar.  
"How- how the-" Ahsoka nearly fell out of her chair as another violent coughing fit hit her. "How the Force do you _drink_ this stuff?!"

Asajj slapped her on the back, something she would never do sober. "Tano, you've taken your first step into a larger world."

Ahsoka had to laugh at that, or at least as much as she could between coughs. _Maybe she's right._ There was a whole galaxy out there for her to discover who she was in. And with Dooku dead the war would be over in a matter of months. _Barriss will have her peace_ after all. Ahsoka hoped that her friend had found peace in being one with the Force at least. _If there's any part of you still out there, I forgive you for what you did to me. It isn't the Jedi way to hold a grudge._

Funny, now that she wasn't a Jedi she felt more like one than she ever had before.

* * *

**And that's the end of this one. Thank you all for reading! Those who are wondering why I've killed off Barriss so anticlimactically, know that Pulsar's information isn't entirely accurate. What really happened there is shown in my story _Death of a Jedi_, which honestly could use some reworking. The further adventures of Ahsoka and Asajj - along with Barriss' fate - are continued in my ongoing story, _Dusk._**

**_-__ Kablob_**


End file.
